Who and What do you want to be when you grow up?

Have you pondered this recently?

Or has it been so long since you thought about it that you feel like you’re just going through the motions?

Of course meditation and mindfulness practices can help.  If you’ve read my other posts, you know I’m a huge fan.

But there’s more to it…

This week I spent time reflecting and thinking about what’s on autopilot in my life and why. 

And a simple 3 minute meditation did help me get in the right frame of mind to reflect.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane…

Perhaps right after graduation you had goals of landing a specific job and working toward a specific promotion, or plans to get married and to one day have children, or to vacation in Europe.

So you did some of those things and changed some of your goals and did those other things instead.

And now you are working at a different company, you have fond memories from your trip to Costa Rica and you’re married with a child.

You have what you wanted, yet NOW more than ever, you feel like you’re JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS.

You feel guilty for not being more grateful.

Guess what?

This is NOT about GRATITUDE.  It’s about CLARITY.

Thinking about who and what we want to be isn’t just a question for adults to ask children or for college students to contemplate when selecting a major.

Thinking about who you are and what you want is an effective life-long practice.

It changes over time as you grow and achieve things.  It’s not ungrateful to think about what else is in store.  It’s healthy to revisit the subject often.

Gratitude and goals are not mutually exclusive, but rather go hand in hand.

Be clear about WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU WANT or things start to unravel. 

So how do you get from going through the motions to CLARITY?

Clarity Exercise

This week I did a simple exercise based on practice from Brendon Burchard’s book, High Performance Habits.

  1. Write down adjectives to describe your recent interactions with family members, team members and strangers.
  2. Think about yourself in the future and write down the adjectives that you want to reflect your future interactions with family members, team members and strangers.
  3. Pick three aspirational words that are meaningful to you.
  4. Write or display these words where you’ll see them several times per day. Read and think about these words before interacting with others.

Examples: Brendon provided his three words – Live, Love, Matter.  Another example from the book is Alive, Playful, Grateful.  My three words are Glowing, Peaceful, Present.

Create a wallpaper for your phone with an image you enjoy and the three words you selected.

You will see it each time you unlock your phone, and it will inspire you to become the future self that you envision.  And having the three words and image in a convenient spot will help you see it often without setting reminders that can stunt your productivity.

Here’s what mine looks like:










I love it so much that sometimes I illuminate the unlock screen just to view the image.

And even better – you can still keep your favorite cat picture as the background once your phone is unlocked.  Sometimes technology IS the best.

Not tech savvy?  It’s easy to do.  Click here for instructions.

And of course there is more to CLARITY than this exercise.  This is a great first step to finding clarity.  Which, Brendon and the researchers at the High Performance Institute identified as the foundational habit of high performers across all disciplines.

There are more tools to help you find clarity and five more habits practiced by high performing individuals outlined in Brendon’s book.

I’m just 1/3 of the way into the book and I LOVE it.

The team interviewed thousands of high performers across multiple disciplines (various corporate roles, athletes, healthcare professionals, teachers, full-time parents) and identified 6 areas of habits/focus that they all have in common.

And the best part – they are all learned behaviors. 

The team tested them on over 30,000 people in 195 countries.  They found them to work equally well regardless of race, gender, creed, geographic location, you name it.

I love when there’s research and a method.

What and Who do you want to be as you keep growing up?



This is NOT a sponsored post.  I discovered this research and am fascinated by the book and research supporting it.

This posed DOES contain affiliate links if you would like to read the book along with me.

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