True one on one time with one of my boys, this is a rare occurrence. Sure, there are countless times that Chris and I are both home and are each giving attention to one child at a time. But the boys are always aware of what the other is doing, checking it out to see if they should keep listening to their own story or go swipe the better-looking book that their brother has.
Occasionally we decide to split them up.
The other weekend I took Nick with me to brunch and Chris took Ben with him on a run and trip to the grocery store.
The night before I spent WAY too much time debating who should go to brunch and who should go to the grocery store.
It really messes with you feeling like you have to choose between your twins.
Who would enjoy each experience better? Who would behave best in each scenario? Sometimes getting over this hurdle is what keeps me from spending more one on one time with my children. After this last debate, I’m over it (well not entirely), but I’m willing to acknowledge and quickly move past the awkward decision point that feels like choosing and to think of it like taking turns – which it would feel like if we did this more often.
Once we finally decided on who would do what, the morning was great.
Nick was so good at brunch, even with a 35 minute wait for our breakfast to arrive. He enjoyed an outing with mommy by himself, sharing pancakes and taking in all of the hustle and bustle of an actual trendy brunch spot (read – not a chain restaurant for once).
This is weird to say, but it made me feel more like a REGULAR mom. I was actually taking my toddler out in public and doing things that I see other moms doing. Typically, I would think to myself, “But you can’t do that with two toddlers. Or you can, but no one will want the table next to you or either you or your friends will want to be medicated by the end of the meal.”
I may be exaggerating. There are certainly plenty of twin moms who take two or more kids places, but this was a special treat for all.
Chris had a similarly pleasant experience. He was able to go on a longer run than normal – the stroller was a lot lighter with half the cargo. The grocery store trip was very pleasant. Ben was checking out the items as they went through the aisles and Chris could take his time and show him things without having to divide his attention.
We also both noticed and quickly commented on the peacefulness of the morning. You may not normally describe a bustling brunch setting or busy weekend morning at the grocery store as peaceful, yet everything seems just a little more peaceful without the twin factor.
Maybe it’s in our heads, but I don’t think so. We both experienced a normal weekend morning without feeling like we were being watched the whole time. We’re far from celebrities, but twins attract a LOT of attention. I can’t think of a single time that I’ve run an errand or gone to a restaurant when no one has made a twin comment (insert typical twin comment of choice here) or has stopped to gawk or ask, “How do you do it?”
It was nice to be able to experience these things, with our sons, without the extra chaos.
And to be fair, the majority of people that stop us are super friendly and just want to see two cutie pies. The boys really do add a lot of joy and it’s nice to see some many smiling faces, but I also want them to experience typical outings and even get to go places that I normally wouldn’t take them together because of the logistical hassle.
Another bonus, when you split up, errands aren’t left for naptime and there is a little more relaxation while your little ones sleep.
Three easy steps for more one on one time with your twins:
- Schedule time and activities
- Think of it as taking turns (instead of choosing) – flip a coin if you can’t decide
- Enjoy and repeat
Looking forward to more one on one mommy dates and daddy dates in the future!