It’s time to embrace the wonderful things about your booty!
Sometimes we loathe our bodies, whether it be post-pregnancy, following a weekend of over indulgence or after a time period of focusing intensely on work (read – after not working out for several months). LET’S CHANGE THE TUNE and EMBRACE the FABULOUS things about your BOOTAY.
1. YOU CAN CHASE DOWN A CHEETAH
Or you could if you really wanted to…
Our ancestors used persistence hunting. Some people still do this today, tracking down antelope in order to survive and even capture cheetahs.
That’s right, humans can literally catch the fastest animal on earth.
Our ability to run long distances (thanks in part to our larger behind regions) gives us greater endurance than four-legged mammals.
Does this mean that if Kimmy K was a persistence hunter that she’d be bringing home all of the game?
2. IT MAKES YOU FEMININE AND ATTRACTIVE
Your derriere makes you feminine and beautiful.
Healthy body fat percentages are about 25% in women compared to about 15% for men and a portion of this extra fat is on your backside.
And that extra fat, it’s there for a reason.
Research by University of Albany professor, Gordon G. Gallup Jr. explains that men are attracted to you in part due to your waist to hip ratio, which at a subconscious level signals that you are ready for a partner, a.k.a. you aren’t currently pregnant and you’re built for carrying and delivering offspring.
Who knew that booties play such an important role in the ongoing existence of the human race?
3. IT KEEPS YOU FROM FALLING WHEN YOU WALK UPRIGHT
Unless of course you’ve had too many cocktails.
Without those sizable butt muscles, you would fall over to the side when one foot is off of the ground just trying to take a step.
Most mammals have much smaller heinies. Other primates can stand for a few minutes and even your dog may be able to hop on his hind legs in pursuit of a tasty treat, but eventually they will tire and go back to all fours or fall.
Stand on one foot and you’ll feel your glutes tighten, allowing you to stay balanced.
4. IT’S A MUSE FOR MUSICIANS
From Queen and KC & The Sunshine Band in the 70’s to Sir Mix a Lot and JLO in the 90’s to Queen Bey, Nicki Minaj and Meghan Trainor…It’s All About that Bass.
Singing about booties and shaking that thing, appears to be a timeless topic.
So, get out that LBD and grab a group of girlfriends or someone special and shake that healthy butt!
5. YOUR FAVORITE JEANS WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT IT
That go to pair of jeans. The one with just the right amount of comfort and that I look good feeling – it wouldn’t exist without that booty.
There are an infinite number of brands, cuts, styles and shapers to help you celebrate this asset
Embrace jeans day…you own it.
6. IT’S THE PERFECT CUDDLE ZONE FOR PETS
Where’s your dog? Oh yeah, cuddled up by your patootie.
Much comfier than dog bed, your bum is the preferred location for furry family members to snuggle up, utilizing your bottom as a plush pillow.
And this is good for you too – cuddling with pets reduces cortisol, the hormone that contributes to stress and anxiety.
7. IT PROVIDES EXTRA PADDING WHEN LEARNING HOW TO WALK
We’ve all seen little ones plop down on their bottoms, either on purpose or after a few wobbles that they couldn’t quite recover from.
Hands down, one of the most adorable things.
Especially when landing on their britches is met with giggles.
Thank you, extra butt and diaper padding.
8. IT MAKES YOU (AND YOUR KIDS) SMARTER
An Oxford University Study found that women with bigger booties are more intelligent and healthier.
The Omega-3 fats stored in the rump region feed brain development, your own brain, and the development of your babies’ brains during pregnancy and while breastfeeding.
Women with larger-than-the-average-booty also have been found to have lower cholesterol and glucose levels and are more resistant to chronic diseases. Tissue in your butt helps wrangle dangerous fat particles, helping to prevent heart disease.
Thank your booty, shake your tail feather and enjoy that long, healthy, BOOTYLICIOUS life!
Editor’s Note: For those of you concerned about cheetahs being hunted while on the endangered species list, to my knowledge no cheetahs were harmed in the modern-day persistence pursuit. The cheetahs were killing the villagers’ goats and were captured alive and handed over to the Kenyan Wild Life Service. See the story here.